Thursday, July 17, 2008

Different Height Stereotypes.

I wonder if it is "worse" to a be a really tall female, or a really short male?

In terms of finding dates, if you want to stick to the "girl is shorter than the guy" stereotypes, I think it is much harder as a girl because there a lot more short girls out there than there are really tall guys. However, a lot of short girls do have that ridiculous requirement that they will only date guys over 6ft, even though they are only 5'1 to 5'4. So the short guys tend to get the shaft :/

In terms of how you're viewed by society, the more I think about it, the more I realize as hard as it is to be a 6'4" female and deal with the kinds of reactions I get sometimes ("I've never seen a woman so tall. .... You are HUGE!..." etc. Plus, on occassion the fact that almost all tall guys are usually with short women makes me think something is wrong with being so tall), I think it's actually harder to be a short guy. Because as a tall girl, if you stay in shape and dress well people will think of you as elegant/long-legged/sexy, etc. And it's not necessarily the most ideal to be short as a woman. Short women often wish they were taller, had longer legs, etc.

However, being tall does seem to be a pretty ideal factor for males, much moreso than females. So, as a male, if you are really short, it seems like that would have more identity-issues to work through than being a super-tall female. This is probably demeaning but I often feel bad for my short male friends, especially when I have to be around them and make them feel even shorter.

Ultimately, this entire post is pretty ridiculous. People come in all shapes and sizes and 99% of it can't be helped. I don't know when and why we created these ideas that the men are supposed to be tall, and the women are supposed to be short(er) and that either tall women or short men are weird and/or unfavored. Tall women and short men are rare(r), and therefore unique. As I often say to my fellow short and tall friends when in mixed company, being tall or being short is cool... being "average" is boring ;)

And lets just be honest.... short men often have way better personalities than tall men. Tall men automatically get like 50+ bonus points in most women's minds because being tall is so desirable, so it seems they don't have to work to hard at developing a decent personality. I've met so many DULL, DULL, DULL! tall men, and so many really entertaining, fun, and interesting short men. I like to analogize the situation to the really hot/cheerleader type girls. Sometimes, you meet a girl with the whole package (hot and a good personality--I have several girl friends who fit in this category) but you also run into really attractive girls that couldn't carry on a conversation to save their lives because usually they don't have to.

Anyway, through all of this shallow conversation... my point is that I'm realizing that height plays way more of a role in relationships and interactions than it should.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought your assessment of short men having way better personalities was interesting.

I've found some pretty distinct categories in the short guys: the ones you mention (who may have needed to try a bit harder to get noticed over the years which might be part of the excellent social skills), plus the ones with the Napoleon complex who are really sensitive about their height and pissy about everything and have to be in charge all the time.

I get the vibe when talking to this latter category that I am somehow at fault for being born tall while they were born short, as if I stole the height that was rightfully theirs.

I wonder if they (short guys) get the impression that we (tall girls) have a similar issue. Is there an Amazon complex I don't know about?

Michelle (so far it's just me) said...

When I meet guys in the second category... I totally try to make them feel worse about their height, which is mean, but there is no need to be such a tool. If they try to make me feel like *I'M* the one who is out of place because I'm tall, I just stand up taller and point out our height difference even more.

But the shorter ones who are nice and don't have chips on their shoulders... I do everything I can to NOT emphasize the difference :)

shortsister said...

I loved the picture of you with your colleagues (or friends of colleagues)! It reminded me of our family pictures--with me being the little one. I guess I am in the 1% where my height (or lack thereof) could have been very different. I am the eldest and shortest daughter in a family of amazon women. My mother is 6 ft (father 5'10"), and one my sister's is 6' and the other two 6'3". I was born two months premature due to complications with my mother's pregnancy. It was touch and go whether I would make it. I reached my maximum height of 5'4" when I was 14. My youngest sister, who is ten years younger than me and now stand at 6'3", was my height at 10 and taller than me at 11! So I am used to being the shorty in the family--thank god for my father to share some of the burden. Anyway, I think you look lovely and you are so lucky to have found a friend who is so much taller than you. We live in England and there are not too many tall men here--big problem for my sisters who have very limited, if any, choice of finding men taller than themselves. At least I am lucky in that regard...

Michelle (so far it's just me) said...

I have a step sister who is 4'11 and she actually looks quite a bit like me so when we tell people we are "sisters" they're always like "...what?"

So I can imagine what it must be like when you and your sisters are out and about and you actually are related! All of my best girl friends are 5'3.... so I personally think the one foot difference is a nice height combination :)

shortsister said...

We are a very close family and spend a lot of time together and often go out together for dancing etc. In fact I work for one of my sisters (she has a a very successful public relations firm and I am her office manager/personal assistant). The great thing is that nobody believes that I am older than her by three years and everyone thinks that I am the baby sister--I am not about to set them straight on that either!

Dannielle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
booya said...

Hi... I just happened across this little post of yours. Here's my input. I'm a male 5' 5", 37, good looking, hilarious. I get rejected for my height all the time. I'm single, but there's another reason for that (commitmentphobe). I've been told by many women that I'm too short for them. I know this sounds crazy that women would be so forward to me, but they are. One of the reason is probably that I don't have a real problem with my height. I should say, I don't show it. I'm confident and I approach women freely. Just last week, I was told "I think you are basically the sh*t" (in a good way) but she never met me for coffee like I had suggested. Anyway, I knew at age 13 when I was 4' 9" that I was going to be short my entire life and that I needed to develop a great sense of humor to get girls. So I stayed up and watched David Letterman every night and very quickly developed a hilarious very dry sense of humor that girls can not resist to this day. Coincidentally, I date many tall women. I have better luck with them. I have dated more women 5' 8" and up than I have women my height or shorter.

On a side note, the whole "Napoleon Complex" thing seems weird to me. I've been told I have no napoleon complex and I know why, I'm peaceful and happy and don't act tough but I feel bad for those that are said to have it. I don't think it is fair to them. Mostly because I think people of all height can be mean, or have a chip on their shoulder, or start fights. I think short men are said to have Napoleon Complex only because it seems weird for someone so seemingly "weak" due to their lack of size to show strength. Kinda like a small dog that barks at a big dog... it's almost comical.

I could keep going, but I'll keep this rant short ;)

Anonymous said...

now, i am a women and i am 6'8'' and i totally would disagree with you. it sucks being a tall women. for girls you have the whole society on your back saying that you dont meet their standards, your not tall enough or the idea verison of pretty. Shorter guys dont want to be with a girl that makes him feel less of a man and even the tall men are intimidated even if i am all girly somedays. There are plenty of short girls to go out with the short guys, when will i get my knight that will make me the princess in the relationship..

Cinder Rain said...

this post was intresting , and a bit mystifying sinse mostt of my family is short-ish and i know wont be tall eather . i dont think all short men are nice though , people claim my dad is short and he is a real gerk!